Have you ever felt like you are drawn towards something or maybe being drawn towards something. Fear.. something I don't appreciate speaking about. Why talk about it when you know that by the end of the day all you are going to get is questions and only questions.. why talk about it when you know no one is actually going to respect it.. why just why..
There are a lot of things happening in life but do they understand all of it NO... do I expect them to understand all of it.. ABSOLUTELY NOT.. The way they all think about me is not what matters, all that matters is how they think about what I am actually going through. Do they actually care or is it just another side and duty of humanitarian grounds.
Today is the day when I am feeling something that I know I shouldn't be feeling... Fear .. of whom? myself.. where did I lose myself to get in the thoughts of what people think.. what happened to the person who loved being talkative...
The say they want to stay together for eternity but deep within I know their eternity does not include me and yes that is what I am afraid of.
Fear of been thrown away from my true self, fear of being judged for stuff that I haven't done, fear of being known for things that I don't even know happened, fear of hurting the people I love the most, fear of the anger I feel when I think of how I lost my old self, fear of letting all of this affect my career... Its just all fear.
They give me advice on forgetting and moving on, but how on earth is it possible to forget all of what has happened like just a huge wave hitting upon the rock. They just know how to suggest, they just know how to tell me to take the first step, they just know that they have to be sweet enough to get through me.
I just want all of them gone.. forever.. I don't know them and they don't know me.
Incidents, accidents or destiny call it whatever you want.. I don't believe in any of it...
No.. this is not a person realising somethings because of the stupid blue whale challenge or anything. This is infact a person who is afraid to speak up. A person feared by the people around. A person who has the right to live life to the best but is even afraid of her own shadow.
They say good things happen.. well here they do but just after a whole lot of bad and sad things. Sometimes its so simple just to think of it as a way of life.
Little did they know she is even afraid to have her own way in life.
There are a lot of things happening in life but do they understand all of it NO... do I expect them to understand all of it.. ABSOLUTELY NOT.. The way they all think about me is not what matters, all that matters is how they think about what I am actually going through. Do they actually care or is it just another side and duty of humanitarian grounds.
Today is the day when I am feeling something that I know I shouldn't be feeling... Fear .. of whom? myself.. where did I lose myself to get in the thoughts of what people think.. what happened to the person who loved being talkative...
The say they want to stay together for eternity but deep within I know their eternity does not include me and yes that is what I am afraid of.
Fear of been thrown away from my true self, fear of being judged for stuff that I haven't done, fear of being known for things that I don't even know happened, fear of hurting the people I love the most, fear of the anger I feel when I think of how I lost my old self, fear of letting all of this affect my career... Its just all fear.
They give me advice on forgetting and moving on, but how on earth is it possible to forget all of what has happened like just a huge wave hitting upon the rock. They just know how to suggest, they just know how to tell me to take the first step, they just know that they have to be sweet enough to get through me.
I just want all of them gone.. forever.. I don't know them and they don't know me.
Incidents, accidents or destiny call it whatever you want.. I don't believe in any of it...
No.. this is not a person realising somethings because of the stupid blue whale challenge or anything. This is infact a person who is afraid to speak up. A person feared by the people around. A person who has the right to live life to the best but is even afraid of her own shadow.
They say good things happen.. well here they do but just after a whole lot of bad and sad things. Sometimes its so simple just to think of it as a way of life.
Little did they know she is even afraid to have her own way in life.
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